-Misery Loves Company-

1) Tokyo Drift

Great for people who despise plots. The plot is so weak and predictable that it could have been a documentary of the life and death of a wastepaper-basket for all I cared. Its only saving grace is the eye candy provided, and by that I mean the gorgeous, gleaming speedmachines, not the main characters. The storyline appears to target adolescents and tries too hard to be cool, thus falling flat and below expectations.

Firstly, let’s discuss why the plot is so weak. Every turn in the storyline is so predictable and suspense is so evidently absent. Apart from that, the plot is so fake that the audience spend more time sniggering than being engaged by the movie. A Japanese "mafia" family takes in a girl who looks Indian and whose mother is a prostitute from Australia? I mean, come on. An amateur tries drifting on a mountain and doesn’t even crash his car once, but his "Sifu"(teacher) dies in a car accident on a road in the city? Come on, come on!!! And why do two Japanese characters speak English to each other most of the time in this movie?

Lucas Black, who acts as Sean Boswell, appears quite lost in this movie and does not exude much charisma. Plus, his expressions are very limited and that makes his character one-dimensional. Nathalie Kelley, who acts as Neela, seems to have a firmer grasp on acting. However, her character is so obviously fictional that most members of the audience cannot relate to her nor symphatize with her. She comes across as a total spoilt brat with no sense of loyalty and just follows whoever is "D.K." (Donkey Kong, indeed) of the moment home.

Brian Tee, who is D.K. (Drift King) in the movie, is quite a good actor. He is the villain we all love to hate and Brian Tee takes full advantage of his screen time by showing a cowardly side to the usually tough-as-nails D.K., especially when threatened by the presense of his dangerous uncle. D.K. is a more realistic portrayal compared to either of the other characters, though by no means more likeable.

Han, played by Sung Kang, is cool and pretty much everyone likes Han. But again, his character is not believeable. You have a guy who needs D.K. to survive but decides to go against D.K.(and not to mention his own gem of a car) to help some white guy from America who has no idea how to drift and talks more than he walks? And poor Han’s script is just damn lame, all the offense in the world totally intended. That bit at his "crib" where he is talking to Sean and Sean asked why he was there or something, he said something lame about cowboy westerns and running for the border and this is his Mexico. I was frozen with pity for Sung Kang for even having to utter such a lame line.

Another saving grace was also the movie soundtrack. Although the songs are quite annoying, they are extremely catchy and sort of grows on you.

2) Superman

Another total disappointment. The plot was predictable and lame. Superman (Brandon Routh) looked ridiculously stupid and girly. Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) somehow just doesn’t carry off the role well. And Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) is just not up to standard.

If you have even watched one episode of Smallville, you will realize that the Lex Luthor of Smallville is the epitome of how villains everywhere should be. He is suave, charismatic, cool and not obviously evil which is the genius of it.

And in this plot, supposedly Superman has a son. Question is, who cares? And again, it lacks a lot of realistic elements. For example, if he really could hear every cry for help on earth, how did he find time to take Lois on a ‘rombongan terbang sambil belajar’? Unless he blocked out pleas for help to serve his selfish needs? In which case, why do we need him at all? And what the hell is the specs on: Clark Kent, specs off: Superman?! That is a supreme insult to my intelligence.

Also, Lois Lane is not a very likeable character is she? First she goes all out to prove she is as capable as men by being super-reporter. Then she falls head-over-heels for Superman, whom she hardly knows apart from when he saved her when she was doing her damsel-in-distress thing(which by the way, reverses all the pro-feminist things she has done). Then she retaliates when Superman leaves by writing an article about "Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman", which proves how immature she is. Also, she has no concerns for the safety of her son and did not even hesitate bringing him to a ship belonging to some stranger. If that is not selfish, I really don’t know what is.

Overall, this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my lifetime. Take my advice, don’t waste your time and money. (But don’t tell James I said that. He is so in love with Superman. I can’t imagine what their children will look like.)

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 16th, 2006 at 3:51 am and is filed under Film. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.