Why It Would Be So Wrong for Me to Grow Old
1) They don’t allow old women to go on killer roller-coasters.
2) An old woman at a rock concert would probably be against the law in 20 years.
3) Old women don’t have belly rings.
4) I can’t cook or bake to save my life so people will have no reason to visit me.
5) Old women are expected to go shopping for flowery dresses (double yuck).
6) I can’t knit or you know, do stuff with cloth, so there’s pretty much nothing else for me to do.
7) Swallowing pills will actually kill me faster than whatever disease I might have.
If my memory already sucks so bad now, picture me in 30 years. No way, I shouldn’t be allowed to get old!!!
9) One of my biggest fears is being bored. And when you’re old, you pretty much have more limited choices when it comes to fun. I would die of boredom before anything else.
10) Old women aren’t allowed to wear stiletto heels.
